Ballerina Botan
by NightJasmine10
Summary: Botan reflects on how she was once a great dancer like the rest of her grim reaper coworkers up until an awful incident that destroyed her passion happened to her. Ties in with Musical Espionage. Drabble Series for the YuYear Event.
1. Blazing

_**Ballerina Botan**_

 _Disclaimer: I do not own YYH or any of its characters being that they all belong to Yoshihiro Togashi._

 **Notes:** _ **This drabble series takes place during the upcoming 21**_ _ **st**_ _ **chapter of my multi-chaptered fanfic "Musical Espionage". If you all haven't checked out my other works along with the first 20 chapters of my fic out yet, they're all available to read on , Deviantart, AO3, and on my fanfiction tumblr side blog. Also, this 7 part drabble series if for this year's YuYear event. Be sure to check out the other talented participants' works out too.**_

 **Drabble Series Synopsis:** Botan reflects on how she was once a great dancer like the rest of her grim reaper coworkers up until an awful incident that destroyed her passion happened to her. Ties in with Musical Espionage.

 **Chapter 1:** Blazing

Botan flew back into the palace and hopped off her oar. Making the wooden instrument disappear, she stretched her arms and her legs happy that her shift had finally come to an end. She walked into the grim reaper break room and clocked out. Feeling someone tap her on the shoulder, Botan turned around and was greeted by her coworker and friend Ayame.

The lovely dark haired ferry girl and Koenma's researcher gave her a sweet smile and asked, "Botan...I don't mean to make you feel awkward or anything but...me and the other girls just want to know, when are you going to come back?"

Botan drew in a deep breath. She looked down at her feet for just a moment and back up at Ayame, "I...don't know Ayame."

Blinking her dark eyes, Ayame just gave her a blank expression, "Why not? Botan we miss you. The Spirit World Opera is not the same without your graceful movements. You were our lead no, star dancer."

Turning her back, Botan just sighed and simply responded, "I just can't." Without saying another word, she then walked off leaving Ayame just to look on in bewilderment. What was she supposed to tell her? It was just too painful for Botan to talk about.

Later that evening, she arrived at the palace dance hall. Approaching the lovely golden colored doors, she could hear music coming from the inside of that room. Opening one door, Botan walked inside and took a seat on the sidelines.

Watching her grim reaper coworkers dance, she sighed. She really missed it. Closing her beautiful pink eyes, Botan began to reminisce about the days of when she still danced. Like the rest of the ferry girls, she was very graceful. Botan was so graceful in fact, she was the best. And being the best, she was once the lead dancer. Putting her head in her hands, she tried her hardest not to cry.

Why did it have to happen? Why her? What did she ever do to deserve to have ballet taken away from her?

 _ **~To be Continued**_


	2. Powerful

_**Ballerina Botan**_

 _Disclaimer: I do not own YYH or any of its characters being that they all belong to Yoshihiro Togashi._

 **Chapter 2:** Powerful

 _ **Two years earlier**_

 _ **September, 1993**_

The lovely piano music began and all of the lovely grim reaper women began to rehearse their dance for the upcoming opera. Wearing her best toe shoes, Botan stood on the tips of her toes and began to dance with her coworkers following her. Sitting on the sidelines, sat an aging blue ogre woman with greying blonde hair that was done up in a braid and dressed in a tiger skin halter dress, kept an eye on her only son and oldest child Jorge as he currently played the lovely melody of his piano music.

When the song ended, Carlotta Saotome used her wooden walking stick to stand up and clapped her blue wrinkled hands after the girls stopped their dance. Botan and the rest of the ferry women gave her their undivided attention. Since the death of Queen Sakura and Koenma not needing as much care as he needed when he was younger, Carlotta's only use in the palace was to be the ballet instructor for the many ferry girls who worked for the royal family.

"Gather round ladies."

Botan, Ayame and the rest of the girls all gathered around her. Carlotta formed a bright smile, "Good work girls. I cannot really think of anything to suggest. As you all know, we have our dance recital for the opera coming up. Yes, Prince Koenma has outright refused to sing, for the thousandth time but, that shouldn't really change anything we're doing."

Shifting her attention to her lead dancer, she said, "Botan, nice work. Your movements as the white swan were truly mesmerizing."

Botan smiled at Carlotta's compliment, "Thank you but, Ayame was great as well. She's truly the best black swan we've had in a while."

Just then, the door to the dance room had opened and in stepped Koenma looking miserable. Carlotta looked over to the currently toddler looking prince, "Glad you can join us Koenma. Jorge is waiting to start your next voice lesson."

Many of the grim reaper women with the exception of Botan and Ayame all started giggling. Hearing that, Koenma shot the girls a glare, "Not another peep from any of you. The next one I hear will get 100 spankings."

All the girls immediately shut up not wanting to receive that punishment. Botan, Ayame and Carlotta all shook their heads in annoyance at the other girls. Carlotta then gave them a harsh look, "Ladies, that wasn't polite. Now apologize to Lord Koenma. It's not polite to make fun of his stage fright. Now remember, we want him to get over it, not make it worse."

The grim reaper women who made of fun of their boss all sighed. One by one, they each apologized to him. Koenma still gave them a glare and didn't answer. Seeing that Carlotta snapped her attention to him and scolded the prince as if he were one of her own children, "Koenma, what do you say to them?"

The prince didn't respond. The elderly blue ogre woman narrowed her eyes at him. Unlike her son Jorge, who normally always got in trouble when he got onto the prince about something, Koenma secretly saw Carlotta as a mother figure, despite her being Jorge's mother. Beginning to lose her patience with prince's attitude, Carlotta then said in a low voice, "Koenma...just because you're now considered to be an adult, it doesn't mean you are allowed to treat your employees like this. Do I have to get your father involved? If Queen Sakura was alive, what do you think of how she would react if she seen you act like this?"

At the mention of his father and his dead mother, Koenma shut his big brown eyes. Taking a deep breath, he really didn't want to suffer under his father's wrath nor did he want to disappoint his dead mother. Opening his eyes, he then looked at the girls and said, "Apology accepted."

Turning his back to them, Carlotta still gave him a stern look, "Now, was that so bad your highness?"

Not saying a word, Koenma turned around and gave Carlotta a pouty look. The old ogre woman gripped her wooden walking stick and snapped, "Don't you give me that look young man. Don't think I won't get you over my knee and give you a couple of whacks. You're not too old to go back to charm school and learn some manners."

She shifted her attention to the grim reaper women, "Ladies, you're all dismissed. See you all here tomorrow."

One by one, the ferry women all left the dance room. Being that she was the last one to leave the room, Botan then heard her boss grumble, "I don't know why I have to sing in here..."

Overhearing the conversation, Botan quietly chuckled a bit, though she still felt bad for him. Just like every other Spirit World inhabitant, she wanted to hear Koenma sing. There was a few times where she heard him but, occasionally, Koenma caught her and said his usual threats of punishment if she were to ever try to listen to his beautiful vocal melodies again.

Botan knew he would never follow through on those said punishments. Koenma's, Jorge's and Carlotta's conversation soon ended with the sound of Jorge playing his lovely piano melody. Listening for a moment, Botan soon heard Koenma's beautifully enchanting operatic Mezzo Soprano voice as he began to sing.

Feeling the warm and happy effects of the magical properties of his voice, Botan then walked down the hallway to go change back into her pink kimono. Hours later, she arrived at Koenma's office to receive an unexpected assignment from him.

Stepping into her boss's office, she politely bowed, "You wanted to see me Koenma sir?"

Looking up from the document he just received, he spoke, "Botan I have an assignment for you. This case is a very special one."

"How special?"

Koenma cleared his throat, "Very. This 14 year old boy has just died unexpectedly after saving a small child from getting hit by a car. It's very strange because people with his background normally aren't selfless like that. I want you to go down to the Living World, retrieve his soul, and bring him here. The details about him should already be in your guidebook."

Botan summoned her oar, "Right away sir."

"Thank you. You are dismissed."

Walking out, Botan slipped her hand into her kimono and took out her guidebook. She flipped through the pages and read about her new assignment. She sighed, "I guess that's the disturbance I felt flying back earlier. So much for tomorrow's dance rehearsal, I have a feeling that this assignment is going to take me a while."

 _ **~To Be Continued**_


	3. Determination

_**Ballerina Botan**_

 _Disclaimer: I do not own YYH or any of its characters being that they all belong to Yoshihiro Togashi._

 **Chapter 3:** Determination

 _ **October, 1993**_

Two months after Koenma asked her to get involved with that "special" case, which turned out to be Yusuke Urameshi, Botan was now back on her regular schedule, kind of. At least she was now able to return to her dance lessons, practices, and recitals. This last couple of months since Yusuke Urameshi went through his life ordeal and became the next spirit detective, Botan felt she was lucky to even find time for her dancing.

Not that it affected her ability to dance at all. Oh no, she was still just as good as she ever was. She got to do her dance duet with Ayame for the Spirit World Opera House which both grim reaper women received praise over it.

But, not everything at the palace was well. King Yama was angry once again at his son's refusal to sing. Throughout their dance both Botan and Ayame could feel the tension between Koenma and his father. They were even heard arguing in the king's balcony off and on throughout the whole opera.

It was dance rehearsal night once again. As Botan passed by the king's throne room, she could hear the muffled cries of her boss. Thinking that he was being punished with spankings again, Botan just stood next to the door and sighed. But, she then heard something else. Usually when Koenma got spanked by his father, he would be just crying but instead, she heard him say, "The only reason you want me to get onstage and sing is because my voice reminds you of Mother. Why can't you just leave me be?"

Blinking her pink eyes, Botan listened intently. This was something interesting. She never heard Koenma argue with his father before. She knew that this was going to end badly. Suddenly her whole body began to shake hearing the king's booming voice in reply, "Don't you take that tone with me. This little act you've had going on for the last 500 years is just that, an act. Why can't you do as you're told? I don't think I need to tell you how your mother would react if she was still here!"

Still listening, Botan just heard Koenma let out a small whine. Hearing footsteps rushing to the two double doors, Botan quickly walked away from it and tried to look like she was just currently passing by when the doors opened.

The small prince looked like he was on the verge of bursting into tears when he turned his attention to Botan who was a couple of paces ahead of him. Koenma swallowed back his emotions, or he at least tried to and spoke breaking the awkward silence between them, "You heard that?"

Awkwardly staring at her boss and seeing how miserable he looked, Botan realized she couldn't lie to him. She looked down at her ballet slipper covered feet and back at the toddler looking prince, nodding, "Yes, I heard some of it. Koenma sir, what happened?"

Koenma shut his large brown eyes and took a deep breath, clenching his small hands into fists at his side. Finding his voice, he answered, "It's nothing. Dad's...a little cranky."

Botan rolled her eyes, she knew it was just a lame excuse to cover up King Yama's anger. She and everyone else who had worked for Koenma knew that there was a lot more to this than one can see beyond close doors.

Anyone with a working set of eyes and ears knew that the old king hated and resented Koenma and often blamed the prince for the death of the Late Queen Sakura. They all kept tight lipped about it because they were all warned by Jorge and his mother Carlotta that if they were to say a single word about it to Koenma, the young prince wouldn't be able to handle it.

Just wanting to go back to his office and finish off his backlog so his father wouldn't call him back into his office and focus more of his anger on him, nor did he want Botan to see him cry, Koenma began to slowly walk back to his office. Botan sighed and broke the silence between them, "Are you sure you don't want to talk about it some more?"

Koenma shook his head, "No thank you Botan. I'll be alright. Thank you for your concern."

Hours later, Botan danced alone in the palace dance hall rehearsing her new dance. The door slowly opened and in walked Koenma. The toddler looking prince was outright exhausted from finishing his heavy workload and he wanted nothing more than to just relax.

Silently taking a seat on the sidelines, he watched Botan's graceful movements as she danced, her movements keeping in time to her music on her boom box. Secretly, Koenma loved to watch Botan dance. At this point in time, she was his latest secret crush though he knew that deep down; things would never happen between them.

The little prince knew that Botan didn't feel that way about him all but, just offered her hand in friendship like Kotennyo, Genkai and Kuroko Sanada before her. What Koenma didn't know was, Botan knew of his crush. She found it flattering but, she figured that he would eventually get over it and move on to someone else.

Just like Kotennyo, Genkai, and Kuroko, she cared a great deal about him. Detecting his aura, Botan knew he was watching her. She smiled happy to know that he found enjoyment in something than just sticking his tiny button nose in a book whenever he wasn't buried in his work with reading and signing files that needed his approval and stamping stacks upon stacks of paperwork.

When the current piano instrumental ended, Botan stopped dancing ending on a lovely pose. Koenma brought his small hands together and clapped his hands. Botan shifted her attention to him. She smiled seeing his happy face.

Thinking to herself, Botan thought, "One of these days, I will hear him sing. Even if he has to be forced to do it or buck up and finally be brave enough to do it again. It's only fair since he has seen me dance."

 _ **~To Be Continued**_


	4. Chaos

_**Ballerina Botan**_

 _Disclaimer: I do not own YYH or any of its characters being that they all belong to Yoshihiro Togashi._

 **Chapter 4:** Chaos

 _ **March, 1994**_

In the weeks following, Botan was still determined to hear Koenma sing. Without his knowledge, she would follow him to his voice lessons and secretly listened to her young boss's sweet and wonderful vocal melodies. Botan, like all of the other Spirit World inhabitants, loved to hear Koenma's songs but, they weren't lucky enough to ever get the chance to hear him. Most of the time, they got caught and were severely punished for it.

Not Botan, though, there had been a few close calls. Thankfully she was able to cover them up by making it look like she was preoccupied with something else. Koenma had his suspicions but, he chose to not do anything about it being that, at the time, he still had his little crush on her.

Back in present day and now that the Dark Tournament had finally come and gone, that was all to change. Once Botan had returned back to Spirit World after Genkai's revival, she was walking to her boss's office to thank him for fulfilling Team Urameshi's wish. Even if Toguro didn't kill the Tournament Committee, it wasn't like they were going to do it anyway.

Now standing outside of Koenma's office, Botan felt the warm and happy feeling of the prince's magical voice properties, hearing him sing again. Wondering what he was singing about while working on his paperwork, she cracked open one of the doors and heard the lyrics to his song:

 _Beautiful brown eyed angel how you made my heart soar_

 _I really want to see you some more_

 _I feel like I can truly connect with you_

 _Beautiful brown eyed angel..._

He then stopped feeling some familiar and welcoming energy at the entrance to his office. Knowing it who it was, the currently toddler looking prince blushed a deep red. Taking a deep breath, he finally plucked up the courage and spoke, practically raising his voice, "Botan!"

Damn, busted. The lovely blue haired grim reaper was caught and it was better to be honest about her peeping than lie and be punished for it. Botan stepped into the office and politely bowed to Koenma, "I apologize, Koenma sir. It's just, I couldn't help but admire your song...it...it was beautiful."

Standing upright, she could see that he was still blushing like mad. Like everyone else who worked for him, Botan couldn't help but notice her boss's strange behavior since they came back home from Hanging Neck Island. She figured he must have met someone because he didn't seem to act like a total goofball around her anymore.

Breaking the awkward silence between them, Koenma sucked on his pacifier and asked in a shaky voice, "Y...you h...heard that?"

Botan nodded, "I did. "Beautiful Brown Eyed Angel"? I know you mustn't be talking about me. My eyes are pink. Sir, I hope you don't mind of I ask this but, did you meet another girl on the island?"

He blushed a deeper shade of red and looked down at the current document he was working on. Koenma's cute chubby cheeks were now as red as a tomato. He was having a difficult time trying to cover this up, "W...what m...makes you say that?"

Deciding to come out and say it, she replied, "Well, first of all, you don't seem like you have much of an interest in me anymore. You haven't tried to sneak into the dance room once to watch me dance since the tournament ended, nor do you try to act all "cool" around me anymore. There's a new girl you like, isn't there? You can't hide it, Koenma. It's written all over your face."

He bit down on the Mafukan. It was becoming increasingly difficult to keep his mouth shut about this. Not thinking about what he was going to say next, the words started to pour out him, "Yes, I did and she's amazing. She's this really sweet human woman with the most beautiful name, Jasmine..."

Listening to Koenma prattle on and on about this Jasmine girl, Botan had never seen him act like this. She obviously made such a good impression on him. Finally able to get another word in edgewise, she laughed, "She sounds like an extraordinary girl, Koenma. I would love to meet her. I hope I do, I wouldn't mind making another friend."

Still blushing, Koenma chewed on his pacifier for just a little bit, looked down at the current unprocessed document he was working on, "I don't know if that will be possible, Botan." He sighed, "I may not get to see her again."

Not wanting to continue talking about this particular subject, he took a deep breath and said, "You're dismissed."

Even though she wanted to know more about this girl, Botan decided give Koenma his space. She politely bowed to him and left the office. The next couple of days, Koenma kept daydreaming, singing about or talking about his latest crush. Even though Botan kept up with her dancing and her work of ferry souls to their final resting places, she kept an eye on her young boss.

She knew if King Yama were to find out that his only son, his only heir was crushing or possibly falling for a human woman, he would never hear the end of it or possibly be punished for it. The lovely blue haired woman continued to ponder the subject as she changed out of her pink kimono and into her dance rehearsal attire.

Leaving the locker room, her thoughts were soon interrupted by the booming voice of the king, "Another one? Another one?! What the hell am I going to do with you?! You are a disgrace! Your mother sure as hell wouldn't approve! Falling for a human woman! FOR THE THIRD TIME!"

Botan just stood there stunned and listened through the doors to the king's throne room as she heard Koenma speak in a meek tone through them, trying to defend himself, "Father...I...I...o...only just s...spoken to her twice. I doubt that I will see her again..."

He wound up trailing off as King Yama interjected, "See to you won't. If you do, you will be punished. Severely. Now, forget about that human tramp and get back to work. That backlog isn't going to stamp itself. You're dismissed."

The conversation ended abruptly and Botan backed away from the door. She pretended to be just passing by as Koenma walked out of the ice cold room. His cute chubby face looking pale and his small body still shook in fright but, he was thankful that he evaded spankings or any other cruel punishment. Thinking about those, made the prince shiver.

Feeling another presence, his large brown eyes darted over to Botan. He sighed, "You heard that?"

The lovely grim reaper stopped walking. Deciding to be honest with him, she nodded, "Yes."

Koenma looked down at the floor and Botan said with genuine sympathy for him, "Sir, you don't have to take that. Nobody can help who they fall in love with."

Tearing his eyes off the floor, Koenma bit down on the Mafukan and took a deep breath before responding, "I...I know, Botan. I mean...what's to say that I am in love? This is just probably just an infatuation that'll eventually go away. Like I said, I...I probably won't see her again. She's a mere human with a life of her own and I'm just the Prince of the Spirit World..."

He paused biting down on his pacifier again. Botan just intently watched her boss's behavior. Koenma clenched his small hands into fists at his sides and single tear slid down his chubby cheek as he drew in a deep breath.

Seeing that, Botan knew she needed to do something to take his mind off of this. Getting a bright idea, she offered, "Sir, please don't think about that. I know how this is upsetting you. Come with me to the dance room."

Wiping the tear away with the sleeve of his shirt, Koenma formed the best cheerful smile he could muster despite still feeling down in the dumps, "Sure but Botan?"

"Yes sir?"

He couldn't believe he was saying this but, "May I sing while you dance? It's only fair since I have watched you without your consent and you heard me without mine."

Botan giggled and nodded, "Sure."

While they walked together to the dance room, Koenma said, "Now promise me this doesn't get out. I don't want...I'm...I'm still not ready for everyone else to hear sing again. Do you understand?"

"Yes Koenma. Your secret is safe with me." She winked promising to keep her word.

 _ **~To Be Continued**_


	5. Isolation

_**Ballerina Botan**_

 _Disclaimer: I do not own YYH or any of its characters being that they all belong to Yoshihiro Togashi._

 **Chapter 5:** Isolation

Botan started up her boom box and ran out to the middle of the dance floor. Now that she was finished with her stretches and warm ups, she was ready to dance. She stood in the middle of the dance floor striking her starting pose waiting for the music to begin. Koenma just stood off just a few paces away from her waiting patiently to begin the first lyrics to his song.

The guitars and the other instruments of the instrumental rock music began to play cuing the beautiful ferry girl to begin. Botan then began her graceful movements signaling Koenma to start. The toddler looking prince drew in a deep breath and sang in his less operatic and more melodic range to fit the background instrumentation better. His enchanting Mezzo Soprano voice then rang out around the dance hall:

 _I met this angel, one who stole my heart_

 _It is such a shame that we have to be apart_

 _She is a woman so beautiful inside and out_

 _She's true, honest and genuine_

 _No other woman gave me a chance before her_

Botan continued to dance listening to her boss sing. He obviously wasn't singing about her but, about the girl he met during the Dark Tournament. She was beginning to wonder if this was just an infatuation or something more as Koenma continued:

 _Those large brown eyes_

 _Her bouncy brown curls_

 _Her beautiful voice gives me chills_

 _Leaving her wasn't really goodbye_

 _I know I'll see her again_

She noticed that Koenma wasn't paying much attention to her. Botan didn't let that stop her from continuing her graceful movements. Turning around she could see the pain, loneliness, and misery in his large brown eyes as he just simply stared off into space. "Wow, he really has it bad." She thought to herself:

 _I am glad our paths have crossed_

 _I feel like she and I truly connected with each other_

 _She didn't shy away from my quirks while the others simply left me_

 _The second time we met was cut short but we savored every minute_

 _When we're reunited we'll make up for time that was lost_

 _Those large brown eyes_

 _Her bouncy brown curls_

 _Her beautiful voice gives me chills_

 _Leaving her wasn't really goodbye_

 _I know I'll see her again_

Botan simply leapt up into the air and landed on the flats of her feet making sure she didn't bump into Koenma who stood in her path without even meaning to. He opened his mouth to sing some more but, he stopped himself. No sound came out. Koenma just stood there not really wanting to continue.

Not hearing a single peep from him at all, Botan then felt some concern for her boss and friend. She turned around to face him only to find that he continued to stare off into space. Botan slowly approached the toddler looking prince speaking in a soft voice, "Sir, Koenma, are you in there?"

A long pause and an intense silence is what followed. From behind his pacifier, Koenma opened his mouth again, this time singing in a more operatic tone in response:

 _Botan, oh Botan_

 _Why does it have to be this way?_

 _Am I doomed to be alone?_

 _Oh how I wish didn't come home_

 _Is this what it takes for me to finally ascend the throne?_

Another silent pause followed. Botan didn't know how to respond at first. She wasn't a singer herself. Her voice was a little decent but, she felt like she had the voice of one of those human pop singers that actually lacked talent and needed electrical enhancements to cover it up. Well, in comparison to Koenma's vocal ability. Botan felt that her performing arts talents excelled in her dancing ability anyway.

Standing on her tip toes again, she began to take small steps backward and responded in her fairly decent singing voice in her Alto range:

 _Koenma sir, you are never going to be alone_

 _When your father finally steps down,_

 _you'll have someone by your side as you take the throne_

 _King Yama isn't that cruel_

 _He cannot expect for his only son to be always isolated and alone_

Hearing Botan's words, Koenma snapped out of his daze and began to walk around the dance hall as the beautiful blue haired ferry girl continued to dance around him. Koenma held his small hands up to his chest singing back in response in his less operatic and melodic range:

 _I feel like Cinderella having to work day by day_

 _Unlike her, all of my friends died, were driven to insanity or just taken away_

 _I might as well not be a prince but a mere servant instead_

 _If that's what I shall be, I should just get on my knees and scrub the floors_

 _If my father didn't love me, I would be that way_

Botan twirled around and stopped, facing her pint sized boss. Standing on her tip toes again, she stretched her long arms out to her sides and began to toe step side by side, front to back and replied:

 _You are not Cinderella, sir_

 _Please do not compare yourself to her_

 _Of course your father loves you_

 _Why wouldn't he?_

Koenma stopped dead in his tracks and sighed. He turned around to watch her toe dance and sang back in response:

 _If I had an awful step-mother, I would_

 _It makes me grateful Dad never met another woman_

 _No one could replace my mother_

 _If only she was here_

Botan twirled around again thinking of some way to respond without upsetting him. Facing Koenma again, she saw a single tear slide down his chubby cheek. Her heart broke seeing him so depressed. She desperately tried to think of something to say to him that would lift his spirits.

Koenma opened his mouth and began to sing once again:

 _How I wish I wasn't a god_

 _Why wasn't I born a human instead?_

 _I could be living a different life_

 _A life with freedom and not being forced into one that judges the souls of the dead_

Botan continued to listen to him as she danced. What words could she possibly say to him? Thinking, her graceful movements were sadly interrupted. Botan lost her balance and landed on the dance room's wooden floor with a hard thud.

Hearing that, Koenma immediately snapped his attention to his fallen employee and rushed over to her, "Botan? Botan, what happened?"

 _ **~To Be Continued**_


End file.
